March 10th, 2008

Well it's been one week since I've been home and feeling better but still having to move slow. I've been able to get out of the house for the past 3 days to go to the park with some friends with dogs in tow for some fresh air with loving caring friends, run some errands and go to lunch with my friend Louis. I even went to Costco with my dear friend Gigi.

I have to say that I could NOT have made it through without my friends. It's been really hard for me to be able to just surrender the caregiver in me to be allowed to be taken care of. It humbling to just say "I can't". Words that most of us no doubt fear ever having to say, but I'll say it again, "I can't, yet"... LOL. I know I'll get to the end of this long stretch soon enough.

I want to thank all my friends who have been there to help me, and John, get through this first week. I figure that i will have another week of feeling useless but will listen to all of you who keep me in line and tell me "Don't do that". I'm becoming a VVERY GOOD LISTENER...;-)

It's funny how much little things matter and make a big difference. Even if it doesn't seem like it's a big deal the little stuff does make me sweat for now and I'm grateful that you are all patient and understanding.

Rudy and Cody appreciate it too. They love going outside even if it's just to sit on the grass. If we could all just remember to enjoy those little luxuries and I believe we do catch on.

Now I've posted a snapshot of my newly revealed scar. I took the last of the bandages off tonight in the shower. It was kind of surreal as if pulling a veil off my eyes to realize once and for all that I've actually been through quite a traumatic ordeal. I made me cry for a couple of minutes just to know that I'm on the home stretch of being well on my way to recovery and healing from it all. Although I know the emotional scars will take a bit longer to deal with it's now anything that I won't not be able to overcome. Especially since I've been blessed with such a great support system in my family and friends for which I will always be and have always been grateful.

Now I'm in the mode of figuring out what line of fire to take to get my income jump started again until the time that I can get my regular flow going again with my massage business. I'm not going to jump at anything too fast but I figure now is a good time to start looking into getting my Workout Video finished and to search out editing jobs as a freelance Video editor. I thought that this is a great opportunity to get my website together and launched. Needless to say I've had a lot on my mind and things that I had to get off my chest that has kept me from moving full steam ahead with my own project of which I am very proud for having actually look really good. So stay tuned for the next chapter of life which I am again grateful to have you all a part of!

Thanks again for all you love, prayers of support and healing and most of all to those of you who were able to help while John was away and who continue to help while he is busy with work and just helping me to carry the slack for which I was accustomed to pulling while I had full capacity of my health.

Love and Light, Jesse