February 24th

Well tomorrow's the big day. I've been rehashing all the information to get myself Re-psyched up for what's ahead for me.

It's amazing how powerful the mind is. I found that my body was following through with what I had set it up for last weeks surgery. While it made me feel depressed and let down my body was going through the motions as if it had actually already gone through the process. I felt my chest being opened up at one point and then feeling a bit confused later in the day. No it's not my blondeness coming out but the orders given to my body from the week before.

So now I've been going back over the "Your Recovery Plan after Open Heart Surgery" schedule. Ugh, the graphic details of what to expect and the need to become familiar with is mind boggling to say the least. But reviewing it is why I guess I'm going to be a very good patient. Part of me hopes that I'll have the chance to take a trip to the other side and have a glimpse and maybe get some answers to some major questions about "Why", "where", "what" and "How". Not that it really matters because we'll all end up there someday anyway.

My surgeon decided that it was best to have a mechanical valve instead of a tissue valve since the replacement of the tissue valve would be much more invasive in 20 years because I have to have synthetic tubing in place of the Aortic Root replacement surgery. Making it much more difficult later on with what my age would be then. This means that I'll have to be on blood thinners for the rest of my life. This is to prevent clotting in the valve. So no more tackle football, snow skiing, karate, of motorbike racing. Yes that's right, I don't do any of those anyway so what's the worry? LOL I just have to wear a medic alert bracelet in case I'm ever in a major accident. Internal bleeding could be detrimental. And I have to take antibiotics anytime I go to the dentist to prevent infection that could attack my heart. So there is some vulnerability but nothing that can’t be lived with.

I really have been blessed with great family and amazing friends from all over the world. Your words of encouragement and powers of prayer are a major force in my strength and I thank you from the bottom of my "NEW" heart.

I'll be in ICU until Wednesday afternoon so if you want to visit you are welcome to come late Wednesday or Thursday anytime. I'm hoping to be home by Friday afternoon. I'm hoping that there will be a new posting keeping things updated for all of you.

Now as for my recovery schedule, I still could use some help the weekend of the 8 & 9th so please feel free to call John 415-519-4865.

Oh and one last thing, My good friend David Aguilar has thrown out the idea that he wants to have a fund raiser dinner on my behalf. He'll probably be contacting you all through this blog. I've given him the okay to do that so you've all been made aware so that you'll know it's now spam.

Thanks again and God bless us all!

XOXO and Love and Light, Jesse

Some encouraging words

Life is so full of blessing that I needed to share this with all of you.

My sister in law sent me this in an email...

Dear Jesse,
The girls and I just read your blog for the first time and we wanted you to know that you are in our hearts and prayers. I know that this has to be the hardest and most challenging thing that you have had to go through, but from what I know about you , from the very first day I met you Jesse is that God put you on this earth for a reason "to inspire people" you have to be the strongest,most positive and most inspirational person I have ever met. Before you close your eyes the day of the surgery know that God is holding your hand and when it is time for you to wake up he'll give you a big squeeze and you'll open those bright eyes of yours and your loved ones will be waiting to take excellent care of you. Be the strong person that you our and have no fear God will be with you!!!!!! We love you brother and uncle Jesse!!!!Love always and forever, Liz ,Autumn and Tara!!!!!!!

You all give me reasons to keep on going and to spread love and light through my aspirations and I will only have more reasons to continue to inspire and live life to it's fullest in spite of all the obstacles that come my way.

XO and Love, Light, Peace, and Harmony

February 20th Update

Here is todays update.

Hope all is well with everyone!

XO and Love and Light, Jesse

My cuspid runneth over...

Life is good!

I was so set to have surgery today that I found myself very depressed today. I guess it's natural to feel let down when you've had your mind set on doing something only not to be able to see it through. Well at least not yet. It's been an interesting ride so far just getting up my courage to get this thing over with. Everything happens for a reason so time will tell after this is all said and done.

Again thanks for all the love and support and messages sent over land and line and cyberspace. I am very blessed to have so many friends offer their help with the days following the surgery. My heart is so full that it has no choice but to survive!

My heart is so full I'm curious to see the surgeons face when he opens me up and sees all your smiling faces looking up at him...I can see it now, "And you were there, and your were there, And you..., There's no place like home...". LOL

I love you guys!

XOXO

Surgery was Rescheduled :-(

I just found out that surgery was rescheduled for February 25th.

Sorry for any inconvenience that this may have caused. Turns out that there is a conference that day and there will not be any staff for surgery that day.

The hardest part about this whole thing is the waiting. It drives me crazy and give way too much time to let your mind play games!

Anyway I will be in touch!

XO, Jesse

Happy Valentine's Day!

Thanks for all you love and support!

Happy Valentine's Day! XO, Jesse

My Recovery help schedule has been posted

February 25 *** Go in for surgery

February 25-29 Hospital Stay I could have visitor after the 20th.

March 1-5 Nena (my niece)

March 4 (My Birthday)

March 5-9 ? "No one as of yet"

I'm hoping that I'll be able to start to fend on my own after March 15th.

Again please call John on our home # 415-641-8338 or on his cell 415-519-4865 or email your availability to jferrare@enerdynamics.com

Thanks! Jesse

10 days and counting

Hello to everyone. I hope that this finds you all well and happy. Seems kind of fitting that I am able to share this adventure of the "heart" with all of you around this Valentine's holiday. Hearts everywhere I look these days.

I hope that the video that I posted wasn't too dramatic . It was a week ago Wednesday that I taped it and finally able to post it on this Wednesday. It really is liberating to be able to get this stuff off my chest.

So now I'm in the schedule making stage. So if any of you have time to spare during the day to help John with lunch or later in the day for a dinner shift please feel free to call him. Our home # 641-8338.

Rudy hasn't been doing all the well. His little brain is losing control with seizures and his balance is getting off a lot lately. But he's still our little man dog...;-)

I'll be posting another video over the weekend so hopefully I'll have a much more light hearted on to share.

I won't be going to NYC after all since John doesn't have to be there for work as was originally thought. So I'll be here in SF working as much as possible through next weekend.

Thanks again for all you messages and please go ahead and post your messages if you like to here.

Love and Light, Jesse

Wednesday February 6-Video Update

Hi all,

Thanks for keeping in touch through this site. I've had lots of great feedback and am very glad that the site has proven to be helpful in keeping everyone up to date! I've finally been able to publish the video blog so here goes. If the video isn't visible click on this link...

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7328915451804099642&hl=en

The video is a week old but I wanted to get it on anyway.

More to come. XO, Jesse