It really does get better!

I feel the need to go further back in time to better help you understand my journey and it is a LONG journey so please, bear with me…

In 1966, Fresno, California, was the year that I started Kindergarten. Now if you don’t mind my saying so, I was very cute as a kid growing up, I see that now but didn’t know to look at myself that way. But there was never a loss of having girls like me and wanting to hold my hand. But I wouldn’t have any of it. It was my teacher, a very beautiful lady, whose name

escapes me just now, whom I had a crush on from the first day of school. She had a very neatly combed
hairdo and wore the fashions of the day. I would do everything she wanted us to do and beyond to get a good
grade in class. I was the first person in class to get a gold star for learning how to tie my shoe… LOL

But there was someone else that I really liked. It was a boy. His name was Will. We were buddies for 2 years. We would go swimming at the local Public swimming pool and play for hours at the community center. There was always something to do to keep us occupied. Again I had another crush. Two to be exact both were our swimming instructors. One was a beautiful girl who had a very curvy body another was an older boy who had a very tight and trim body. It was very confusing to me how I could have these feelings. I just let them wander and not think about it after classes were over. Will and I never talked about that, but we did talk about other girls that were in our class.

I was raised in a Catholic household. It was in first grade when I started to go to Sunday school and to catechism on Wednesdays after school. I went to bible study classes and learned the life of Jesus Christ and the words of the God as written in the Holy Bible. I said my prayers and asked God for His guidance in every instance that I felt I needed His help.

I was scared of the Devil as was professed by the nuns in church classes that I should be if I was to live a holy life and be saved from the fires of hell. I was so scared that I would have dreams of our neighborhood children being chased by the devil around the fence of our house. I would wake up sweating with the blankets pulled over my head hoping that the Devil wouldn’t peak under the covers and chase me too.

Man was the message pounded into my head! Be a good Christian, and I did everything I could possibly do as a young human being living a life of love and obedience, only it didn’t make any sense to me. I did everything right but I was still having feeling that I couldn’t explain.

I had always gotten along with just about everybody making friends easily as the years went by and changes continued to take place. All of us playing in the schoolyard and then back home in the neighborhood street learning to ride bikes and play marbles. But then there was this one incident that happened that year of

second grade. There was a girl I liked named Lorie. She had a good friend named Rita. They were almost always together unless we were all is class. Rita wasn’t in our homeroom class so that’s when Lorie and I would talk. I told Lorie that I really liked her and wanted to be my girlfriend. She didn’t give me an answer.

After class that day Will and I were walking across the school yard towards the gate looking at each other as we talked about who knows what. We were almost to the back gate when we heard someone yelling, “Rita, Rita”. When we both looked towards the fence here came Rita stomping her white patent leather shoes directly towards. Her pink short flared dress swayed madly back and forth, her short black hair curled at the ends swooping up towards the sky with a white bow pinned in her part bobbed up and down. “Rita, Rita”, I could see Rita’s mom calling to her from her car beyond the fence and gate. “Rita, you get back here!” she demanded.

Just as Rita had reached us she stood feet wide apart put both hands on her hips cocked her arm back and slapped me right across the cheek. “That’s because you like my friend Lorie and not me! “ Then she turned around and stomped back towards her mom giggling waiting at the car. “Rita you get back here right now!” I was mortified

What? What did I do? Was she jealous because I had asked Lorie to be my girlfriend? I never found out. But I made sure not to allow myself to get between two best girlfriends again!

By second grade we moved to a new house in a different part of the city and started classes at a new elementary school. I liked my teacher Mrs. McNairy. She was a great teacher and made studying fun.
I became very involved in after school activities. Track and field Arts and crafts. I even started to mentor younger students that were new to the after school program.

I was also very busy with my bible study classes. My younger brother coming with me to some of the same classes as he got older. I had studied hard and finally made it to my first communion by the end of second grade. I was well on my way to being a servant of Christ.

More in a couple of days...