Change is good!

Hi all,

It's been way overdue to make another posting to my blog. I initially used this tool to keep my family and friends around the world up to date on my health and recovery from open heart surgery for which I will have my 3 year commemora this February 26th. Thankful to say, the surgery is a success and my heart is still as full of love as ever, even if it is a bit of plastic in parts bit it in no way creates a blockage of allowing love to flow freely! And this blog was a terrific way to share the event of real life happenings of what one experiences in such a life altering ordeal.

So now I'm continuing with my blog to continue to share with family and friends from around the world especially since I'll be living in a new country next year. So this will be a perfect tool to continue to share my life with all of my familiar friends as well as new friends that I have met and will meet on my continued journey in this lifetime.

Over the past few months I have been guided to open up my life to share intimate details of what my journey has been and how much having faith in God. Family, friends and strangers alike. What has amazed me more than anything is that people appreciate when someone can open their heart and stand naked as it were, to show exactly who they are and not be ashamed by what life has served up onto their plate.

With that said, mine has been a plate so full at times that I could feel the pressure threatening to burst my belly button way open. But thankfully I've been fortunate enough to know when to reel myself in and to take control of those things that I could and to pray to God for strength and will to go the distance in time of strife and disparity.

This first of many post to follow is in response to my high school friends question on my Facebook page. Another reason to ask questions when making one line remarks or post since so few words can leave much to interpretation and misunderstandings. But this time my dear friend Phyllis gave me the permission and guidance, of which I was already prompted to do by my intuition, i.e. God's voice on my heart, to share my story from the start. So here goes...

It was in 1983, I was working in Reno at Harrah's Hotel and Casino dancing in a cabaret show called "Hot Streak". It was one of the best shows I had ever seen. Full of fast moves and funky music and beautiful dancers. It was a small cast of 12 dancers along with the header act The Fercos of which was comprised of a family of 4. We did 2 shows a night and 3 on alternating Fridays and Saturday. We shared the stage in tow hour shift with such star bands and musical groups as "Peaches and Herb", "Paul Revere and the Raiders", "The Tower of Power" and of course "The Mamas and the Papas". It was with this last group that I had learned of the death of my friend Charles De La Barra. Charles was a good friend of mine but I hadn't been in contact for over a year.

It was McKenzie Phillips who shared the news with me. She and Chuck had been close friends in Hollywood for years. We were all sitting at the cabaret bar after the show when she laid the news on me after asking how Chuck was. "Chuck died, didn't you know that?" She started to cry when she told me how horrible his death was. Withering away to nothing and having the life sucked out of him as the HIV virus took over his body.

I was scared! I was numb, Then I just zoned out. He was the first man that I was ever intimate with. I knew deep in my heart that I had been infected with the HIV virus. What was I going to do? How could I go on living my life knowing that in the back of my mind that I might have infected others? How was I supposed to live with the thought that I might die?

Shortly there after the first of many test of will and perseverance would present itself to me.

more to follow...