My Cup runneth over

Thank you all for the wonderful heart felt emails, calls and text messages! It all because of you all that I am where I am today, in a state of utter well being surrounded and bathed in LIGHT!

My friends and family give me the strength and fortitude to live life to the fullest holding back to nothing and allowing opportunities to unfold naturally and organically.

I am blessed to be loved by so many wonderful people and can only trust that the love I have for you will continue to strengthen the bonds of our friendship to last even beyond this lifetime!

XOXO and Love and Light, Jesse

My Heart is Full!

My Heart is fuller than ever!

Ugh, Where to begin?

First of all I meet with my heart surgeon last Wednesday the 13 of August and this is what he had to say, all the while with a smile on his face and an astonished look in his eyes.

"You look GREAT! You don't need to be here. I've never seen anyone recover so quickly and more fully. It's beyond anything I've ever seen before, but that doesn't surprise me, being in the shape you were in before and even better now with your new parts.

This from a man that I was told was the best in his field but a real assh***. It wasn't as if we were talking Dr. to patient, more like a man in awe to a discovery. He was beaming full of light when he talked to me.

Okay, now for the whole of what's transpired over the past couple of weeks. And I'll give it all up to you at the end of next months update.

My little angle Athena was diagnosed with Melanoma Caner in April. The Vet warned us that this form of cancer was very aggressive and that we'd have to keep a close eye on its progress. She'd had a toe removed from here front paw at that point and recovered very well.

for recovery by blessings of my dear friendAs most of you know I've been traveling alot since my first trip to Hawaii David Browning. He invited me to travel with him to London and Paris July 24- Sunday August 4th. We had a blast and it was truly magical!

But upon my return on that Sunday John had informed me that Athena hadn't eaten and wasn't drinking water since the day before. She was vomiting and had diarrhea and was losing weight fast. This from a little girl who LOVED to eat. Something was clearly wrong.

The next morning I made a vet appointment for her to be seen by her regular vet, who would be in the office on Thursday, if Athena was still not feeling well. Tuesday she nibbled a bit but was still vomiting and barely drinking water. So I decided to take her into Emergency room on Wednesday morning. They admitted her to stay overnight to give her IV fluids and to see if they could get her to eat. They would also perform some diagnostic test of x-rays and blood work to see if maybe she had pancreatitis or if the x-rays showed any sign of the cancer spreading.

Well the cancer had spread into her lungs and liver. But the diagnosis still didn't explain why she wasn't eating and why she couldn't hold anything down. She looked so depressed. Not like her bubbly self.

On Thursday Athena's regular doctor was in and she expressed the same thing, She still wasn't eating but she was more responsive from the IV fluids. We all decided that since she wasn't getting any better in the hospital that we should bring her home to see if making her more comfortable would help in getting her to eat. This was a crucial point. She had to eat or we could five her a feeding tube.

I boiled some sweet potatoes and she ate it. She then started eating her cry food with bagles and chicken broth. Isn't that almost Maztah soup? She was getting her strength back as well as her appetite. So by Friday when John had to leave for Palm Springs to care for the new house that he bought there were no worries.

I had a trip to NY planned for the coming Sunday so Maharshi ( Athena's other Mommie) agreed to take her to his house to take care of her while John and I were away.

John was returning on Tuesday and I was scheduled to return on the that friday the 15th.

Monday evening after I left to NY Maharshi had informed me that Athena wasn't eating again and was vomiting even the water she drank. I had him bring Athena back home to John to care for her. He called the vet and decided that do a home treatment of IV fluids to keep her hydrated. I cut my trip short to come home to take care of Athena and to decide what the plan of action would be.

I had hoped that thing would turn out in her favor, but as I came to find that her little body was just not up for it.

Maharshi had shared with John that he had spoken to a psychic (A channel to be exact) that Wednesday, because the time was nearing of Peter death on labor day last year, and Maharshi wanted clarity on the emotional turmoil that was going on with the possibility of losing yet another important being in his life. The psychic, with whom Maharshi had never spoken to, got the hit immediately that someone wanted to talk to Maharshi, someone by the name that started with a "P". This person was talking about, "My little Princess" which is what Peter always referred to Athena. The psychic asked if Athena was a pet dog and that She wasn't well. That she was having intestinal problems keeping food down. She said that Peter was saying that he would be there to receive Athena when she was ready to pass over. This convinced me that Athena was indeed ready to end her battle.

I ended my trip in NY and flew back after what would be an 11 hour flight from JFK aiport arriving welll after midnight to San Francisco.


The next morning I was lying on the floor with Athena observing how her body was responding. She was having labored breathing and wouldn't stand on her own. She refured water and food. It reminded me of what my grandmother was like in the hospital the day before she died. Her body was just shutting down.

I spoke our Vet after 9AM to find out what the options were for Athena's well being and best and worst scenario. Our Vet said she would be available if we decided to put her to sleep or if we wanted to take her into the Hospital and try to tube feed her. But given that here cancer was progressing it wouldn't be much time before we'd have to put her down.

I could let her die slowly! We decided to have the vet come over @ 2:30 that day. Maharshi would come over so that the 3 of Athena's daddies would be by here side to see her off. It was killing me to even think about her not being here in the furry flesh.

I was lying on the floor with her listening to her labored breathing looking out of our bedroon window when I had a vision of Peter standing in the sunlight calling to Athena and her running towards him and jumping up to get into his arms. I realized then that it was almost a year to the day when Peter and Maharshi were visiting me over the Labor Day weekend and Peter having a heart attack and dyning in front of my face in our home in the guest bedroom.

I then realized that that was where we would have the Vet help us transition Athena to the other side directly into Peter's arms.

I could never have imagined that anyone would ever have the chance to arrange such a perfect reunion of transition into the other form of existance. All three of us living parents to Athena had the chance to spend individual time with "our little Princess" before all three of us holding her while Megan delivered the potion of peaceful sleep.

It was one of the most heart wrenching and heart warming peaceful moments or heart break that I could've ever experienced. She is missed and loved so dearly by everyone that new and met her.

She loved to sing and bitch and just be loved.

See will be missed but her life was celebrated this past weekend and help make the whole rest of the weekend magic.

Athena we love and miss you and will forever be in "Full in our hearts!"